Wednesday, July 14, 2010

The Quest

I haven’t written anything for this blog in a while. I have no good excuse. It’s not that I owe anyone anything, and I have not broken any sort of commitment or exceeded any deadlines, but what I do is write and although I have written some small pieces here and there, I feel as though this is where I stay accountable to myself. This blog will reach its five-year anniversary in December and there is a great deal of evidence that it has evolved in a number of ways. Externally, it is clear from my archives that I was far more prolific early on than I am now. Delving a little deeper into each archive individually, there are signs of evolution in terms of content, style and substance. But one lasting characteristic remains – these words, though publicly aired, are primarily for me.

I used to thrive on how many hits this site received, how many comments my writing generated and how my thoughts inspired reaction from others. It would be a lie if I said that was not still important, but at the same time this type of external validation comes and goes – an evolutionary process is present in the Internet community itself and the rise and fall of various platforms has a key effect on how our thoughts are distributed. I have become far less attached to how and whether my thoughts are received than I used to be. I used to sit down and force myself to write even when there was nothing really inspiring going on in my life and in many of those instances what came out surprised me, both in terms of content and insight. Writing, like other artistic expressions, can produce introspection and revelation not ordinarily accessible in my day-to-day life. But I rarely ever force myself to write just for the sake of writing anymore. These words, however, are an example of such a rarity.

In some respects, I feel as though I have said it all, though I know that can never be. When I title these pieces, I usually have to do a search of my archives to be sure I don’t replicate a past title. It seems that I have used up all the common “catch” phrases, but there is always something unique about every new set of words that can be captured in an equally unique title. And I almost always write the title last. I have written about writing, about publication, about politics, about life, about nature, about spirituality, about education and about everything else that strikes me as needing further exploration and that happens most effectively right here. These literary assemblies help me understand the world I live in and, more importantly, my place in it. The extent to which others relate to my musings has clearly become a bonus, not a goal.

It is odd how certain past events dovetail with current events. Not so much on a geo-political scale (although that certainly happens as well), but on a personal level. New bits of information come to me that help explain or expand on prior experiences. In some cases it sheds new light such that some old, almost forgotten life event becomes brand new again. It happens all the time and the best way for me to process these epiphanies is to write about them. One such experience is founded in the act of writing itself. Although the vast majority of my work has been produced in the past ten or so years, writing has been with me for my entire life. Through a series of life-altering events, I rediscovered this latent ability to string words and punctuation together in a mosaic that conveys more than just a collection of dictionary definitions. And, perhaps more importantly, I found much greater value in all manner of artistic expression... and artistic expression in places I never expected it to be.

As much as I have recently found myself at a loss to compose, it is still very clear that the well has not yet run dry. Indeed, I am far from tapped out – what is left to say far exceeds what has already been said, by others or myself. The pool of human knowledge, of human experience and of human understanding is infinite. The process of discovery will never end. It comes not just in words, but also in a vast and ever expanding array of media that is conveyed with the diversity reflected in each and every individual expression of what it is to be. Though far more is unknown than known, today I feel just a bit more enlightened.

2 comments:

Kim Williams said...

you've said it!

"The pool of human knowledge, of human experience and of human understanding is infinite. The process of discovery will never end. It comes not just in words, but also in a vast and ever expanding array of media that is conveyed with the diversity reflected in each and every individual expression of what it is to be."

Belizegial said...

Glad to know that the 'well is not tapped out' as I invariably enjoy reading what you have to write about here. It is real as it reflects your own personal perspectives and life experiences.