Wednesday, July 25, 2007

On Excitement

I have been somewhat reclusive of late - at least in terms of interacting with my peers in cyberspace. Although it is true that I have been busy with my “normal” activities and duties, it is also true that a number of unexpected situations have presented themselves for my disposition. So far, I have been disposing of them as they materialize, but the list of “things that are coming up” is growing and no small amount of [useless] mental energy has been expended trying to fit everything into a neat little package… a unit that can be processed by one executable command or directive.

Of course I know, it is never that easy.

Some of the tasks are tedious in nature. Some are regularly occurring maintenance items that must be done month in and month out. They are not mentally or physically challenging, nor are they exciting such that they are eagerly anticipated - rather, they are dreaded. Bills, appointments to keep, appointments to make, forms and rebates… ad nauseam - you get the point. There are others, too, that do hold a great deal of anticipatory excitement and, like taking on any new and exciting venture, there is the apprehensive fear. I recognize it and move through it, but still there is an energy expenditure due to its very presence.

And perhaps this is as it should be. Maybe, these perfectly normal yet sometimes uncomfortable feelings are what allow one to feel alive. Indeed, this managed upheaval can be and often is duplicated in much more unhealthy ways artificially. One needs only to look at the latest trials and tribulations of Lindsay Lohan to be reminded. I am reminded repeatedly by the drama some seem to be incapable of preventing and actually appear to create in their lives. To do what? Make themselves miserable? It is nearly always the result.

I have gone to great lengths to eliminate drama from my life. Through extensive and often painful experience, I have found it far less exhausting to avoid drama than to invite it. I might find myself on the periphery of other’s emotional turmoil, but I am very careful not to engage. As it turns out, my life does not suffer in the least. I do not lack excitement - what I lack is drama. Be that as it may, some very close friends are going through some issues at the moment - and I am always willing to lend a sympathetic ear.

So now I have a few moments to myself. The calamity has taken a break - it will probably return. My deadline has been met and my stories are in. I have a moment to reflect on my own personal priorities and although I have some big things to attend to, they can wait for a day, maybe two. But they are still on the back of my consciousness. I have a new semester at school rapidly approaching. I have applied for a new and exciting job that is much closer to home. I have registered for the LSAT, a giant step and if the results are good, a huge new commitment - I'll be applying for law school.

But all of that is tomorrow’s worry; right now, it’s time for a nap.

7 comments:

'B' said...

It is always good to be free and easy after all tasks etc are complete or delegated to someone else. I wish I had that ability...

Here from Michele's this morning...

Awareness said...

Maybe drama is defined differently now. Not the tragic, chaotic, impulsive emotional roller coaster kind of drama.....but perhaps a more mellow drama....no pun intended. We can't avoid drama, but I think we can choose the type of drama we will engage in.

Law school eh? Now, I can't imagine you're going to engage in tax law or accounting law.....political perhaps? Combined with your journalism background and your inherent desire to learn and to write stories........I think you are choosing a field chock full of drama of a different ilk.

I'm very excited for you Mike. Can't wait to hear more about your job application and your interest in pursuing law.....

rock on!

carli said...

It must feel pretty good to have the kind of drama-free existence you've managed. I would prefer it to the drama I create for myself, but I'm pretty sure that if I was ever drama-free, that'd be the day I get run over by a cement mixer.
Michele sent me.

archshrk said...

Hello, Michele sent me.

Balancing what we have to do and what we want to do is always a challenge and an opportunity to reflect on our lives.

Sarch said...

As you said Mike, drama and excitement are two different things.

I have found that typically drama as you describe it is something to be endured and "gotten past".

Excitement on the other hand can be so many different things. Heck, I've been married to the same woman since 1984 and I got excited over the fact that she made me laugh the other evening with an unexpected angle to one of her comments as we watched television. The excitement, as strange as it may seem, came from the flash of inner joy I felt at still being able to enjoy this person with whom I've become so intimately familiar over the years.

Anna said...

I think there are people who think they need the drama to feel alive. Sad, really.

Hope your nap was good. Michele sent me.

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

MICHELE sent me today...I got to you right after your comment to Stephanie Davies...It is so weird..I don't remember all this controversary on Michele's blog, in the past, until these last weeks...or months...I have never seen a comment by "casper"...Dear me. Anyway...

It sounds like some very exciting things are on the brink in your life Mike...I hope that possible new job comes to pass...!
Hope you had a very good nap! (lol)