Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Milestones

As I approach my Blogger six-month aniversary (in two weeks), my 100th post (this is 82 or 83) and my hit counter inches ever closer to 3,000 visits (sometime tomorrow), I find that there are times when I haven't got much to say. Those that know me know that nothing could be further from the truth and, to be perfectly honest, I have to agree. Nonetheless, I often feel an obligation to post something, yet I don't have anything pressing to say. In other words, the well is dry. The following is what happens when I just start throwing words down and let something develope. Is it genious? Dribble? Somewhere in between? You tell me...


I started blogging last December to explore a new venue for my writing. It was during a five-week break in between semesters at school and I simply was not done riding the wave of momentum that the fall semester had created. In a very real way, I missed the exploratory nature of the written word. It was and is a craft that I apparently have a knack for and I had finally come to a point where writing was not work. It is still the same today; I write not for money (yet), but because I enjoy the brainstorming, the word assemblage, the final product… and of course, the feedback.

Those five weeks therefore were an exercise in patience. It took a very, very long time to embrace this skill and even longer to be able to nurture it to the point where I may be able to capitalize on it. OK, so I’ve made that decision – taken that leap into the unknown and unfamiliar, now the last thing I want to do is… wait. Blogging eased that downtime. It was a forum that had everything I needed to hold me over and I didn’t even know what that was. Among other things, it provided an audience, a sort of peer review group. That, in turn, gave me motivation – to write.

The first entries were relatively easy. The first two were about me and where I am in life. Easy writing - according to my freshman comp professor, the easiest subject to write about is oneself. It didn’t make much sense to me at first, but is much clearer now. Easy though it may be, it can be challenging in other respects. It is by definition introspective and as such may reveal some things that I’d rather not know. Furthermore, those introspections have a tendency to creep into all waking (and some non-waking) moments of my life, manifesting themselves as epiphanies, revelations and intuitions. It can all be very inconvenient sometimes.

I feel as though I miss more than I get. I can’t begin to relate the wonderful ideas… the sudden flashes of brilliance (or the obvious) that I have been too busy or too lazy to document. Then there are the times that, even when the moment is right, I can’t find the words. Yes… it’s all about the words. You see, when I write, I am trying to convey not just ideas, but feeling, color, vision, emotion, wonder, empathy, pain – so much more than just little pixels of light or geometric splotches of ink have any business portraying. Most of the time I can get across how I feel it when I read my words – and that’s a start, but it’s when I can’t even feel what I feel when reading my own thoughts that my frustration is at its peak.

If this all reads like what a very scrambled mind must look like, then I have, in part, done my job as a writer. It is not complete, however, unless I have also related the growth that comes with exploring ones own thoughts, one’s soul. It should account for the search for truth in the written word; the understanding of the vast degree of difference of individual perception and the unity that the linkage of language – written language gives those perceptions. It should be a window into my life not to show what I know, but rather what I don’t.

It is with these words I share that which is me with you – and that is really all I have that’s worth anything anyway.

10 comments:

clew said...

Well said! I started my blog for cheap therapy as well as an exercise in reviving my neglected writing hobby. No real theme, other than what it will be, it will be. Hence it's is in continual undulating morph. :) Sometimes deep ponderings, sometimes anecdotes, sometimes good old fashioned disjointed brain racket.

I too often feel a pressing need to post when I feel I have nothing to say. It's the call of the sirens I guess ...

I have wandered here from Saur's place a few times and have enjoyed my visits. Have a great day!

Barnze said...

You reckon your mind is scrambled???Mine is a right mess!

OutInLeftField said...

LOL, looks like I'm the milestone blog viewer again....the site-meter is at 3-thousand as I type this! :)

I think you do an awesome job on your blog, and it is definately one of the more well-written ones out there. I'm glad you found this as an outlet...because everyone needs something. I'm also glad I found it to read! :)

I started my blog as a way to keep up my writing. It started off differently than it is now...more of an editorial look on news and life. As I worked more, I just got lazy and made it all about me ;) I keep on saying that I will get back to the old way of doing things....perhaps when this season of the Amazing Race wraps up ;)

Here's to 3-thousand more visits!

:)

jinsane said...

I think you do a wonderful job with your blog!!! I definitely understand the "pressure" you mentioned to post everyday and say something intelligent and witty. But those of us, (or at least me, anyway) who visit everyday, just like to see how you are and what you're up to, as well as to read your wonderful posts!


XO - Jen

mckay said...

"It is with these words I share that which is me with you – and that is really all I have that’s worth anything anyway.

thank you.

Bar Bar A said...

your blog is on my top ten list. you are on my top ten list for people who have influenced me positively in recent times of turbulence.

You are a writer, we all have scrambled minds. But I do understand your frustation. Your writing always speaks to me - what does that say about my mind?

Have you ever "Writing Down the Bones" by Natalie Goldberg or "Bird by Bird" by Anne Lamont?

Ellen said...

You are probably the only person I know that could turn a "non post" into great post. When my well is empty, it's dry as a bone. No thoughts come out, and words are even harder to make sense. Even coming up with comments are a serious stretch for me.

I agree with Jen and OILField, I come here to read because I find that you are an amazing wordsmith, and consider it my "mind-expanding" part of the day.

Biker Betty said...

I am new at writing in blogs, and writing period. It is a weak spot for me, but by writing I am starting to enjoy the process. I enjoy how you weave the words and create wonderful reading for us to ponder over.

My blog is hard, in that I have a central theme that I want to pretty much keep to. It's the female perspective of motorcycling, a beginner's view, and conveying general information about motorcycling. I am pacing my postings at the moment for the fear of the dry well. I do enjoy the topic and love motorcycling. I think the more I write the better it will get. Like you mentioned when you first started writing.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Betty :)

Mr. Althouse said...

clew ~ Thanks for stopping by! Saur's has been a great inspiration to me and I read her blog regularly. You never know what you might find here... sometimes it's just talking to hear myself make noise! ;-')

barnze ~ I stopped by your blog... no argument here!

oilf ~ You have a sixth sense or something... weren't you # 2500 as well? I appreciate your opinion, especially considering your profession, thanks.

Jen ~ thank you as always. We seem to view a great many things in similar ways.

mckay ~ pretty profound, huh? I sometimes read stuff I wrote and wonder where it came from... I mean, I don't view myself anywhere near that deep, yet it captures the moment so well.

barb ~ I haven't read those two, perhaps someday when I have time! ;-')

ellen ~ and I'm starting to believe it myself! I honestly had NOTHING but I just kind of started with "I" (my favorite subject ;-')) and it went from there.

bb ~ Thanks again foe stopping over. I have always hated writing, but admit that I have also been pretty good at it. it was one of those gifts that you kind of say "great... Thanks, thanks a lot." Extreme sarcasm intended. However, it wasn't until I was in a place in life that writing was much more than a gift - it was a survival skill - that i was able to embrace it. Life is funny, ya' know?

Saur♥Kraut said...

We're just glad you're out there, writing.