I have been smoke-free now for 30 days. This ties the second longest period of abstinence in the last year and a half or two years. The record is one day short of two months, so I'm just over half-way there. Since about the two-week mark, it has been a much easier journey than the first two weeks. Actually I prolonged that initial discomfort for about one week because I smoked four cigarettes at the end of what would have been the first week. If I had not become sick long enough (36 hours) to make me re-commit to not smoking, I would still be smoking today.
It is odd that for the last two or three days, I have been feeling as though I may have acted somewhat rashly – that perhaps I was a bit too hasty in deciding to quit. Maybe, I am thinking, I just needed a little break and now that I have proven to myself and the world that nicotine doesn’t have a hold of me, I can smoke just one if I want to. Or maybe, I should just quit fighting the urge to smoke and just concede that I am a smoker and accept whatever the consequences may be. After all, I can stop if I really want to, didn’t I just prove that?
Right! Perhaps I should have prefaced all those justifications with “And now, a few words from our sponsor…” One is too many. How easily I forget. I know I can’t stop anytime I want, I have proven it over and over again. I have what I consider to be a pretty good run of non-smoking going on. I sure don’t want to have to do it all over again. It is crucial that I don’t get complacent and underestimate the power of nicotine. I have to remember what it was like at the end and not the “good times.” That almost sounds crazy now that I read it: “Yes, the good old days… lighting up a smoke and letting the good times roll!” It sounds like a cheesy Winston advertisement.
It isn’t logical. If it were, nobody would smoke. Nicotine may be the most addictive substance known to man - more so than any of the illegal street drugs. All I can do is take it one day at a time. So far, I am working on the 31st day in a row and I am glad that the nicotine did not talk me into giving up today. It will try again tomorrow, but I am re-energized for battle now, it won’t even come close. It is, however, very patient. It will wait for an opportunity. My job? To make sure that opportunity doesn’t come knocking.