I am feeling a little anxiety today. Actually, it has been building for the last week or so. I have not been my usual happy, go-lucky self and I think it’s high time I realigned with the powers that be and get re-centered. My last two essays (Nothing Personal & Sentenced to Die) have been somewhat critical if not downright negative and that’s not really what I’m all about nor is it what I prefer to write about. I am therefore recommitting myself to using this space for radiating positive energy into the world.
It has taken a few days to realize what has been happening. Like so many epiphanies, it came to me all at once, but while doing things my way for several days, the evidence has been building. All of a sudden – BAMM – there it is. I am not so “enlightened” that these brilliant flashes of the obvious happen instantaneously. I still have to bump my head, stub my toe and spill my coffee before I realize that things are not quite right. Eventually the unnoticed uneasiness becomes apparent thus enabling the introspection necessary to redirect. It was on my way to school this morning that this lightning bolt hit. I knew what was wrong and what to do about it.
I write for several reasons. Probably the most important is self-awareness. It is how I think best – slowly. When I’m in my head, my thoughts flow so fast that any analysis and refinement is near impossible. Clarity comes when I write. The next two most important reasons are of equal importance and in a way interdependent upon each other. I have a desire – a need to make a difference. To do this, I must write to be read. If no one reads what I write, then I am only writing for myself. There may be a wee bit of ego involved, but at the end of the day if I haven’t touched anyone, I’m just taking up space.
Although there is a place in my repertoire for political opinion – indeed, opinion in general, it is difficult to express my opinion without rejecting an opposing one. Opinion is confrontational by nature. Introspection, inspiration, life in general is universal. It is not a matter of agreeing or disagreeing with an opinion; it is a matter of identification. One may not understand or relate with my experiences or outlooks, but it is not in dispute as to whether or not I do.
It has been my experience that many life experiences are related, even those that initially appear to be completely different. The underlying emotions, the feelings… the lessons or wisdom that result, though unique in one sense, are universal in another. Many of my past posts are quotes from both ancient and living visionaries that speak of wisdom to which I can relate. Based on the comments I receive on these posts and comments on my own introspective writing, I get the vibe that there is something there. That somehow, maybe – just maybe, what I say and relay may be making a difference in someone’s life.
Although my hit counter has been averaging the same number of visits to my blog, the comments left behind have dropped off considerably. I am being read, but I am not really stirring any thought. My opinion pieces, though I believe them to be well thought out and eloquently delivered, will have to find a new home. They will no longer reside here. This is not a place for negativity, no matter how well written. This is not to say that certain problems will not be presented - they will. They may be personal as well as political, but they will not be just dropped here and left. They will only be presented as an example of how life can be trying, but with a positive outlook we can and do persevere. And it’ll be ok. Nothing is the end of the world, not on this blog anyway.