One of my unwritten, unspoken goals for this New Year was to try to post something here daily. It was not set in stone, just an internal push to keep me writing. So much for unwritten, unspoken goals. Conveniently enough, since it did not take the form of a “resolution” or any other concrete affirmation, I need not feel as though I have failed anyone – and I don’t.
I have spent much of the last four days resting. I went on a short road trip over the weekend with a friend of mine who was suffering from this nasty little cold that’s been going around. Indeed, it seems as though virtually everyone has either had it already or is going through it. Often, when the cold season comes around, I take the opportunity to say to whomever, “I never get sick.” And for a number of years, it has been true. Until…
That’s right, the universally humbling karmic forces hunted me down to afflict me with this nasty little cold, thus nullifying my claim. And I thought I had learned to never say never. In all honesty, it has not been “stay home from work” sick, but since I’m currently working freelance, that’s exactly what I did – for the most part. I still had errands to run and other responsibilities that needed tending to, but intertwined with the very limited number of tasks I had to do was a substantial amount of time where I didn’t have to do anything – and nothing is what I did.
Although this illness was far from debilitating, it was in a voluntary way. In other words, things that are priorities for me – those that contribute to my sense of accomplishment and make me feel like a participant rather than a bystander – fall by the wayside in the name of comfort. Or at least in the mitigation of discomfort. It was relatively easy for me to put off things like cleaning my office (it’s reaching critical mass once again), laundry, making my bed… and blogging. The rationalization I used was tried and true – “I feel icky.”
But after so many days of putting some things off, I have found that the combination of feeling better and neglecting some of the chores I am privileged enough to have (that’s right… I get to do the laundry, lest I forget…), I am again motivated to get back into action. The post I wrote Sunday was about getting busy even when there was nothing that had to be done. Perhaps that post was a karmic red flag. Although I knew I had a little scratch in my throat - that was historically the extent of my illness. This time, not so much.
I managed to write on Monday and Tuesday, because even in the world of “chores” – privilege or no – some I enjoy more than others. Yesterday and much of today, however, I guess the virus was in its death throws, giving me everything it had before it passed on – leaving nothing but antibodies. Although I have managed to drag my butt to the keyboard to read and comment on a few blogs, I let yesterday go – I had nothing. I was just not feeling it. There was no energy there.
Hopefully tonight, I’ll get a solid night’s sleep and tomorrow I’ll be back to my old self. I have a lunch date with my former editor that should result in a story or two. I’ll make a few bucks and keep my clips current. Perhaps there will be space for an Op-Ed. I absolutely love breaking free from objectivity! And there will be time to clean my office, make my bed, do some laundry and get some house cleaning done as well. It's good to be back!